Expected to be a mess
[October 8, 2020] After 30+ days of doing exactly no work, it feels great to open a notebook and write all of these things out. I don’t exactly feel depressed and sad, but at the same time; this isn’t the actual myself.
Despite COVID, I have been traveling here and there around Kathmandu every weekend with my friend; discussing all kinds of world’s topics which I usually like, but still I don’t feel fresh and energetic. The pending work has started to get piled up, but the mind still can’t gather the same enthusiasm to restart the work.
And I hate this habit of procrastinating, but the truth is despite all the tries (traveling, reading, watching, playing), I haven’t been able to overcome this feeling. It’s getting worse, it’s hampering me which is okay; but it will also hamper the people (family, friends, colleagues) of my surroundings, which is scary.
Consuming a whole lot of information
This so-called new normal has made everything a mess; will probably blame the COVID pandemic my entire life. Work, education, future, life: everything has become a complete mess.
I will also take some portion of the blame myself for consuming all kinds of information, which has become the real problem / source of confusion. Going through all social media and newspapers & reading everything has become a bad habit. Because we all know, the media are always full of hate, controversy and bad news. Lately, consuming those bad news has been the source of distraction.
Bad mornings led to bad afternoons, bad days led to bad weeks and within a blink of the eye, a bad and messy month of doing no work has been completed.
What next?
Probably another messy month. [Take a long deep breath]
