Two weeks of hospitals mentally broke me

This is not the first time and this definitely will not be the last, but I really wanted to document it somewhere, just so that I can free some space in my mind, slowly forget the trauma and get back to living a normal life.

Here, today I am sharing my last two weeks’ experience of visiting three different hospitals in Kathmandu for my Mom’s checkup. Those three hospitals are National Center for Rheumatic Diseases, Nepal Eye Hospital, and Manmohan Cardiothoracic Vascular and Transplant Center located at Ratopul, Tripureshwor, and TU Teaching Hospital, Maharajgunj respectively. These are the best hospitals, very much known for the specialized health services they provide.

Also, I definitely am not criticizing hospitals facilities nor hospital staff here, in fact, I am very impressed with the improved services. It’s just that, I was never mentally prepared to cope with the depressing hospital environments. The rush of patients, long waiting lines, and confusing system; broke me mentally. It has already been one week since I stopped visiting hospitals as the checkups of my mom have been already completed, but I still can forget that two weeks trauma.

Staying in the waiting line for 4 to 5 hours for the doctor checkup seems very much normal and OKAY to most people, and I also don’t have any problem with the waiting because I understand how messed-up the health ecosystem of our country is; the reason why I feel grateful that I have access to health facilities, but at the same time, I believe it very unfair. Because, in that waiting hours, you will be out there observing the hospital environment; which is very scary and traumatizing. It tests the nerves of how patiently we can wait.

For the two weeks continuously I visited the hospital and observed that environment because I had no other choices. Just to highlight one incident; during the checkup at Manmohan Cardiothoracic Vascular and Transplant Center; due to the high blood pressure my mom was admitted to emergency where she was given medicines to control the blood pressure. And during my stay in an emergency; I witnessed cases of people almost dying in front of eyes. For that kind of environment, I was never prepared, I was never ready; neither I can leave the room because my mom will be there alone. I remember calling my dad, asking him to join us at the hospital because I feel so panic.

Later, I share these kinds of many incidents which was a horror to me; which I noticed over the two weeks with my family members. But most of them think this was normal, but I believe this is where the room for improvement is left. Setting up a big health infrastructure will not make any sense if we are not being able to provide a friendly environment and smooth services.

I might forget this and get back to my regular life and work, but I worry more because I have to go through the same place and stuffs once again & again for the follow-up.